AS OF NOW....Sundays are hard

As of now I can only speak for today. My feelings change daily and sometimes during the day.

WHOA! The last time I posted was over a year ago! What a year it has been! A relationship and MAJOR transitions for me. I have been through so many emotions in this last year. I've learned so much about me. As I grow, I find myself learning about others more and more. I am DEVASTATED with the realization that a persons age does NOT determine their maturity or how much they know, have experienced or have been taught. I think I've always associated age with wisdom. I've always respected people (especially women) older than me and tried to learn as much as possible.

Yesterday, an ex said to me," I remember the first time we visited your moms house, there was a group of older ladies chatting at the table and you somehow escaped what you must have thought was our infantile conversation and somehow plopped yourself right at the table with them! I remember that you didn't say a word. I watched as you just listened and absorbed everything you could. I smiled and thought to myself, I like her!"

My heart beats heavy when I start to think about having children. Oh boy, my clock is really ticking! I really want a baby. I want to be a great mother. I will be. What I've learned is that upbringing is a MAJOR part of who we become. It's not second to experiences or circumstance. It just is. WHO reared us and HOW has so much to do with WHO we become and HOW we live and love! Most of us have been taught to believe that once we reach a certain age, we are set in our ways and change is not an option. I think that's wrong. If you want to change, want to be different, you can. You will! Try it today. Make a list of all that you'd like to change and go for that. Live for Love please. It's so important!

Today is Sunday and it's the day my ex (hard to say ex) and I would shop at the farmers market and grab up some cheese and wine to enjoy on a relaxing day at home. Sundays are hard...